Entries Tagged 'G&S Meta Parody' ↓

A Producer’s Lot

Author: Sharon Brindle

When a tenor’s not engaged in his audition (his audition)
He loves to sit a-basking in his fame (in his fame)
He can not imagine any opposition (opposition)
To be able to compete with such a name (such a name)

Our sniggers we with difficulty smother (culty smother)
As he struts around and thinks he’s got it won (got it won)
But the tenor lead’s been given to another (to another)
To a lad who’s young enough to be his son

Oh, when a G&S production’s to be done, to be done
A producer’s lot is not a happy one (happy one)

When rehearsals start the chorus is appalling (is appalling)
But the new producer’s trying very hard (very hard)
We can hear the distant funeral bells a-tolling (bells a-tolling)
And we’re not performing “Yeomen of the Guard” (of the Guard)

Our soprano’s started rowing with the MD (with the MD)
Re the new cadenza for “Poor Wand’ring One” (wand’ring one)
Now our poor producer’s trying to run on empty (run on empty)
And the second act finale’s barely done.

Oh, when a G&S production’s to be done, to be done
A producer’s lot is not a happy one (happy one)

Dress rehearsal and the boss man isn’t happy (isn’t happy)
There’s no room on stage when all the girls wear hoops (girls wear hoops)
Samuel’s wandered off and Ruth is getting snappy (getting snappy)*
And the Pirate captain’s feather always droops (always droops)

Fred and Mabel aren’t talking to each other (to each other)
And the oboist is playing out of pitch (out of pitch)
But, we’re all reassuring one another (one another)
That the show will go ahead without a hitch

Oh, when a G&S production’s to be done, to be done
A producer’s lot is not a happy one (happy one)

Opening night, the pirate sherry starts to pour and (starts to pour and)
The producer makes his way towards the bar (wards the bar)
By his reckoning, if he drinks enough beforehand (nough beforehand)
Then he might not notice just how bad we are (bad we are)

But, in the end he didn’t have to do it (have to do it)
The policemen didn’t put a truncheon wrong (truncheon wrong)
And all that hair he tore out, he re-grew it (he re-grew it)
Saying “I knew they’d be brilliant all along”

Oh, when a G&S production’s to be done, to be done
A producer’s lot is quite a happy one (happy one)

*This line may be replaced with:
“Ruth’s complaining that the show’s too Joseph Papp-y (Joseph Papp-y)”

Baby Got Back

“Baby Got Back”, a video using clips from “The Pirate Movie” that tranforms Sir Mix-a-lot’s rap into, if not patter, at least operetta.

The Ruddigore Hillbillies

Author: Sharon Brindle

1. Come and listen to my story ’bout Rupert Murgatroyd
He was the sort of fella that you’re better to avoid
He liked to torture witches and would duck ’em in his lake
But a palsied hag gave him a gift as she burned at the stake

Curse, that is
On his soul
No parole

2. Well, the next thing you know, it’s passed down the family tree
Through Roderic and Despard, not a generation’s free
But Sir Ruthven had the right idea, it really must be said,
He got out of the problem by pretending to be dead

Late, that is
RIP
Ceased to be

3. Now Ruthven, known as Robin, is enamoured of a girl
Who captivates the village boys and gets them in a whirl
But though the bridesmaids think that she is playing hard to get
Her curious behaviour’s in the name of etiquette

Manners, that is
Show respect
Genuflect

4. When Robin’s brother Richard comes rolling into town
He tries to cheer up Robin ‘cos he’s feeling kinda down
Romances Rose by proxy ‘cos his brother’s really shy
But he takes her for himself ‘cos he’s a sneaky kind of guy

Cad, that is
Cupid’s dart
Blames his heart

5. Now Rose goes back to Robin, he’s the one she really wants,
Dick wanders to the graveyard, one of Despard’s favourite haunts
He lets it slip to Murgatroyd that Rose’s valentine
Is older brother Ruthven, keeping oxen, sheep and swine

Pigs, that is
Former crook
Off the hook

6. Now Ruthven is the criminal and does a crime a day
To keep the painted emblems and Sir Roderick at bay
While Despard’s married Crazy Meg and goes to tend the sick
When she goes mad, a “Basingstoke” will always do the trick

Calm, that is
Tranquillizer
Makes her wiser

7. When Ruthven tries to kidnap Rose, he thinks he’s played his part
But Gideon Crawle returns with Roddy Doddy’s “tiger caht”,
But by some crazy twist of fate that will amaze y’all,
Since Roderic had topped himself, he wasn’t dead at all

Free, that is
Family curse
Is reversed

8. So happy ever after, every couple’s getting hitched,
And now the Murgatroyds are not the only ones bewitched
The moral of the story if you’re virtuous at all
Is make sure that all your paintings are turned in towards the wall

Y’all come back now, y’hear?