A Statistician’s Lot

Author: Barry Haworth

When the Interviewer’s chased by an Alsatian (an Alsatian),
When she knocks on doors and everyone says no (‘one says no),
She won’t think much of my sample allocation (allocation)
After all its me that told here where to go (where to go).
When respondents are awoken from their slumber (from their slumber)
When we ring them when the cricket’s on TV (on TV),
Then they curse that rotten sod that chose their number (chose their number)
And I hope that they don’t find out that it’s me, Ah,

When there’s Market Research Surveys to be done, to be done,
A Statistician’s lot is not a happy one! (happy one!)

When Researchers come a ringing for a sample (for a sample),
That’s to go into the field that very night (very night)
You can see the time allowed is less than ample (less that ample),
You can see you need not envy me my plight (me my plight).
When the area they want is problematic (problematic)
When the Client sample files are all askew (all askew),
When the Research notes are brief and enigmatic (enigmatic)
Let me tell you that for me its nothing new, Ah,

When there’s Market Research Surveys to be done, to be done,
A Statistician’s lot is not a happy one! (happy one!)

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