“The Basses’ Song”

Author: Jonathan Ichikawa

Sergeant:
Now on stage you see the chorus of the basses (of the basses)
And baritones who also sing with girth (sing with girth)
Now no tenors mar the beauty of our faces (of our faces)
A tenor is more trouble than he’s worth! (than he’s worth!)

Our confusion we make no attempt to muzzle (‘tempt to muzzle)
As our mental state collecti-tively twirls (‘tively twirls)
We devote ourselves completely to this puzzle: (to this puzzle)
Tenors look like men but sing like little girls

Police:
Ah! As our mental state collecti-tively twirls, tively twirls,
Tenors look like men but sing like little girls! Little Girls

Sergeant:
Though a tenor may be slow he tries to hide it (tries to hide it)
By singing loud enough to wake the dead (wake the dead)
If by some unworldly means we looked inside it (looked inside it)
We wonder what we’d find inside his head (ding dong!)

Some prefer the tenor voice and that is valid (that is valid)
But remember as he uses treble clef (treble clef)
Though perhaps he can produce a pretty ballad, (pretty ballad)
You will never hear a tenor sing low F!

Police:
Ah! Though he does the best he can with treble clef, treble clef
You will never hear a tenor sing low F! Sing low F!

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