Tony Blair – The prequel

Author: Sharon Brindle

Some may wonder how Mr Tony Blair managed to rise to such an elevated position. However, a shocking new revelation from Tiggy Legge-Before-Wicket, his old nurserymaid, may enlighten us somewhat…

When Tony was a little lad, he turned out such a smartie
His mother thought she’d sign him up to join the Labour Party,
I was young Tony’s nurserymaid, and so I do remember
I took and bound the promising boy, a new Westminster Member

It was a time when there was no crime
And “The Times” was well worth 10p,
Though I’m a nurse, you might do worse
Than make your boy an MP.

I was a stupid nurserymaid, with a yen for heavy drinking,
And I got the letters jumbled up, through being hard of thinking,
I taught him how to avoid a row and eschew “Carpe Diem”
And I made the unassuming boy the next prospective PM.

He put the squeeze on Party sleaze,
But the risks I could not see’em,
I had him enrolled in the Labour fold
In time to make him PM.

As Tone grew older I went blind and semi-arthritic
So I thought that he was still well-suited for careers politic
With his winning grin he got to win the affections of the masses
And they voted for the Cheshire Cat and his Party full of asses

Though he owned the Spice Girls were rather nice
And his kids liked Noel and Liam,
He nevertheless managed to possess
The role of Britain’s PM.

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