I’ve got a little list [spam/procmail]

Author Unknown

Ko-Ko (Lord High Executioner and Postmaster@titipu.com):

As some days it can happen that my in-box gets too full,
I’ve got a little list– a little procmail list
Of annoying e-mail senders whose spew goes to dev/null,
And who never would be missed– who never would be missed!
There’s the idiotic nuisances who say “Make money fast!
Just send a buck to each of us and add your name on last,
I’ve made a bunch of money now, and you can join the fun,
Ignore the dull statistics proving it cannot be done,
So what if it would take more folks than currently exist?”
They’d none of ’em be missed– they’d none of ’em be missed!

Chorus:

He’s got ’em on the list– he’s got ’em on the list;
And they’ll none of ’em be missed– they’ll none of ’em be missed.

Ko-Ko:

Then there’s evil Spamford Wallace and his Cyberpromo slime–
The e-mail terrorist– I’ve got *him* on the list!
With his unrepentant attitude and arrogance sublime,
It’s easy to insist– he *must* be on the list.
He harvests our addresses, which he sells to other jerks
Then he spams us selling software we can buy to block their works.
New domains most every day, a tough man to ignore,
Send him a “Remove” request, he only spams you more.
He wants to make a profit, doesn’t care how much he’s dissed.
But I don’t think he’ll be missed– I’m *sure* he’ll not be missed!

Chorus:

He’s got him on the list– got Spamford on the list;
And I don’t think he’ll be missed– I’m *sure* he’ll not be missed!

Ko-Ko:

Headers saying “FREE,” “X-Rated,” “Bulk Mail,” dollar signs–
Don’t let them get you pissed– just put them on the list.
Anything from Nancynet, Quantcom, and all their kind,
They’d none of ’em be missed– they’d none of ’em be missed.
The folks you’ve flamed on Usenet who might want to get you back,
Anyone whose Web site you decided you should hack,
And all the many pseudonyms of Caro You-Know-Who–
The task of filling up the blanks I’d rather leave to you.
But it really doesn’t matter whom you put upon the list,
For they’d none of ’em be missed– they’d none of ’em be missed!

Chorus:

You may put ’em on the list– you may put ’em on the list;
And they’ll none of ’em be missed– they’ll none of ’em be missed!